No bullshit wedding talk

I keep waiting for that moment to arrive during my engagement when I’m all “squeeeeeee I’m a bride! WEDDING! yaaaaaaaaaay!”

It’s getting a lot closer, a little over 5 months away, and I figured that by this point I would have caught the bridal bug. But it just hasn’t happened.

This is not to say that I’m not very happy to be engaged, and even happier to have found the love of my life, but I still have yet to truly get it up over the whole “it’s my special day” ordeal.Image result for No bullshit wedding talk

One cool thing did happen Tuesday, when we met with our officiant and started to visualize the ceremony. It’s crazy to think about that moment; the act of such strong commitment makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

But other than that, I always feel a bit fraudulent when people ask me how it’s going and how excited I am about it.

One physically obvious example of this is the fact that I still haven’t started losing weight for the dress. Not even a little bit. It’s probably not going to happen, either.

I feel that in order to make it happen, I’d have to turn off all fun having from now until my nuptials and what is the point in that? You don’t get engaged so you can suspend your life for several months, do you?

So, I won’t be a super skinny, best shape of my life bride. I’m okay with that.

There’s also the fact that I go very long periods of time without thinking about the wedding at all. People bring it up and I’m all “oh shit, I have a whole bunch of stuff I should be doing huh?”

Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking going the whole traditional wedding route in general. I never even have birthday parties because the idea of congregating a bunch of people and forcing them to celebrate me has always made me uncomfortable. Why not just take the money we’re spending on this party and buy a boat?

That would have been an idea. A literal love boat, if you will.

But then I remember that despite what all the propaganda would have you believe – a wedding isn’t just about the bride. There’s also a groom involved (or two brides, or two grooms – but rarely ever just one person).

And if ever there was a guy that people enjoy congregating to celebrate, it’s Tom. People love that guy. He’s a hit. And who would I be to stop all his beloveds from raising a glass to him?

And despite all my child of divorce/fear that everyone hates me issues – I know that there are people in my life who will appreciate the opportunity to celebrate me as well. Or at least to get drunk and grind on someone inappropriate at the reception.

So even though I don’t feel that I’ve exhibited the appropriate levels of giddiness over this process, I’m glad that it’s getting closer. It will be a once in a lifetime ordeal. A life changer, even.

And the sooner it comes, the sooner I’ll be married to a great guy and headed to Napa to drown all the awkward things I said and did on the big day in many delicious glasses of wine.

A future, unplanned

For someone who is so stringent in the planning of the minutia of every day life (my Google calendar is filled out down to the hour for the next month) I find it kind of odd how unplanned I’ve left my future.

Now that I’m in my late twenties (there is much debate over whether 27 is middle or late twenties, but I go with the latter; it’s better to be realistic about aging – I think) and about to marry, I’ve been wondering lately if I should give my future a little more structure.

Many couples who enter matrimony have a typical idea of how they want their married life to go. They may set an age for when they want to start a family, or buy a house or maybe they want to change up their careers a bit.Image result for A future, unplanned

Tom and I really don’t have any of those things mapped out.

We don’t plan to have children and although we briefly entertained the idea of buying a house in the next year, there’s really no way in hell we’ll be able to afford real estate in DC anytime soon.

And while I worry that our lack of planning seems irresponsible, I think there’s a nice thrill to the idea of not planning our marriage. Really, there’s no concrete need for us to do so.

Because we’re not going to procreate, we essentially have a blank slate ahead of us as to what we could do with our married life.

We both want to travel as much as our over-extended credit cards will allow. That is a given.

We also want a dog, which will certainly be our version of a child. I really want two dogs and a cat, but as long as we’re still living in a city apartment that probably won’t happen.

We each have our dreams for our careers, and while neither of them are very likely to happen, we’re still young enough to hold on to the hope that they could. And maybe they will, for one or both of us, and then our lives will change dramatically.

Although we both love living in DC, we might eventually leave this place for a warmer one, or one that is more conducive to our careers and not going completely broke by the time we’re 40.

If that does happen, I know I will be incredibly homesick for this city – the first geographical location where I truly felt happy – but will hopefully settle into a new place just as I did here.

Or maybe we’ll live here forever, happily squandering our money in rent.

Who knows?

My planning-oriented mind is a little worried that things aren’t clearly scripted for the next five or ten years, but I’m learning to let it be.

As long as I’m still able to regularly visit my family and friends in Oklahoma, to keep writing even if nothing ever comes of it and can stay true to myself and my relationships, I believe that the future is bright.

Do you have a plan – solid or liquid – for your future?

Eatin’ & Drinkin’ – Shiki Sushi (also, the dentist sucks)

Isn’t the dentist the worst? Around February I started having tooth pain on the right side of my mouth. I expressed this concern to the dentist and they prescribed two fillings and a night guard. They quoted me a price, and I was on board.

The next time I went in, they decided I needed a crown instead of a filling, but didn’t call it a crown and didn’t tell me that the process would require an additional office visit. It was also $200 more… Okay, whatever. Teeth are important.

So yesterday I went to have the crown put on, and they ask if I’ve had pain. I said yes. So they flipped out to high heaven and were like “well if you’re in PAIN they maybe you need a root canal!”

I was like, well I told you I was in pain a month ago. And you took x-rays and told me I needed other stuff, not including a root canal. Then they were like, well you should probably decide if you want a root canal before we put this crown on.

Now, I don’t know, maybe I just don’t understand how these things work – but I thought it was the dentist, the one with the medical degree, who was supposed to determine whether or not the patient requires a root canal surgery.

Silly me. After a weird conversation concerning the level of pain I was in, they were trying to yank the temporary crown off my tooth without numbing my mouth. Then they put on the crown and didn’t mention the root canal again.

I’m still in pain. And this dentist’s office doesn’t even offer the happy gas.

So that really sucked. And it was expensive. And probably all the work I just had done and paid for will be moot when I have to have the root canal that apparently I must diagnose and order for myself.

I will be going to another dentist though.

Afterward, Tom and I decided sushi was much needed. He had a bad day too. Couple’s emotional eating. Very romantic.

When I first moved to the DC area, several bloggers told me that the best sushi was at a place in the Ballson Common Mall called Shiki Sushi. I was skeptical at first, but after my first visit, I was a believer. I’ve tried a lot of other, fancier, places in DC since but nothing has compared.

We tried a new-to-us dish – the spicy tuna gratin. I actually thought this was going to be another sushi roll, so I was surprised when it came out as a casserole. Surprised, but not disappointed. It was a sushi version of tuna casserole, but without any of that nasty canned tuna fishy taste. So good.

SO good.

We also ordered our favorite Shiki roll, the dynamite roll, along with a California roll and a spicy yellowtail roll.

The dynamite roll is seriously insane. The scallops are so fresh and tender. The rest of the sushi was amazing as well. Yellowtail is only good when it’s practically just out of the water fresh, and this was.

So, if you’ve had a bad day recently, or just have a sushi craving – don’t underestimate this little gem in Ballston. It’s never crowded, and it’s in one of the saddest malls in the area, but somehow it still manages to be the best.

HAPPY WEEKEND!

Happy Weekend!  It’s extra happy for me because I took Monday off as well.  We don’t have too much planned.  While my hunny is at work on Saturday, I have a pre-natal checkup in the morning and will probably catch up on my TV shows in the afternoon (Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, Bones – to name a few).  Maybe some decluttering – who knows? Sunday we’re going to go check out a new store that opened up recently and then we have some errands to run on Monday.  All in all it should be a relaxed weekend.


I really enjoyed this article about couples that don’t fight (often).  When I started my relationship with R, I definitely wanted it to be different than ones from the past – and fighting was definitely a thing I wanted to work on, if for no one but myself.  I think it has really helped our relationship to weather the storms.  Granted we aren’t perfect.  Some of the bullet points in the article are still items I need to work on, but I can definitely relate to it.

See you Monday (or wait, maybe Tuesday still I’ll still be “weekend-ing”)