Yesterday was a perfectly shitty day.
And, as I do on all bad days, I began immediately to think of ways to make myself feel better.
I could skip the gym, pour myself a glass of wine and sit in a hot bath for an hour.
Or I could buy a large bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs and eat the whole thing.
Or how about happy hour? Big ‘ole wine pours at Cava and feta dip!
This is my usual response when things do not go my way. But for some reason yesterday, I decided to deal with things a little bit more reasonably. I knew that if I stuffed my feelings down, whether it be with food or alcohol or shutting myself up in the house – the problems would still be there.
And let’s face it, problems don’t feel any better when you’ve got a hang over or a stomach ache.
So, instead of my usual remedies, I trudged through the day and didn’t turn to any of my vices.
I wasn’t happy about it, but I did it anyway.
After work, I went to what I lovingly refer to as the Wednesday Death Class at the gym. (So many burpees and planks. I don’t know why I go back.)
I’d like to say that being healthy and working out really turned my day around and I left feeling awesome, but I didn’t. I was glad I worked out, but it wasn’t the magic cure. (Because there isn’t a magic cure.)
I went home, ate relatively healthy and then went to bed (although sleep and a very unhelpful “sleep specialist” was a big cause of the shittiness of the day) so that I could wake up today with at least a relatively clear mind and a somewhat renewed perspective on everything.
I didn’t make any goals this year for being healthier or eliminating my bad habits, but it was nice to see an unexpected positive change.
I certainly could stand to stop punishing myself when I have a bad day; maybe now that I’ve done it once, I’ll know that I can do it again. Or maybe it was a one time only deal, in which case, at least I did once?
This does not mean I won’t be consuming large quantities of Irish food and green beers this weekend (I most certainly will be). I just want to make sure that when I overdo it it’s because I’m having fun and living large – not because I’m trying to escape reality.
If I want to do that, I should be doing it through my writing, which is much more productive.
Speaking of writing, I’ve been posting here very infrequently. This is for several reasons. One being that I seem to only do interesting things on the weekends and then fall into the rut during the week with nothing to write about.
Another being that I actually have been writing somewhat regularly (almost done with that short story) and working on the writing blog I mentioned. It’s almost ready, but I won’t be linking to it from here. If you’d like to read it, you can email me and I’ll send you the link.
And with that, I probably will not be checking in again until after St. Patrick’s Day. I hope you have a good one, with much Irish soda bread (which I have never had, sad right?), corned beef, cabbage and green beverages.